Posted in Message from Jac

Asian Identity Self Esteem!

I find myself falling in two groups. I get along with white preppy and funny guys but I also get along with awesome asians who cares for me. My parents did tell me I’m influenced by both american and asian side. Yeah my friends think i’m funny and cool. My parents liked me after getting know me and hang out with me. I can’t really stand Fobs due to different mindset so do my asian american cousins.

Self esteem is huge. I always compare myself to other people and feel upset. Even my family and asian friends tell me to stop care about what other people think about me then i’ll be happy.

My family do think i’m pretty. I remember eating at a chinese restaurant, my mom and sister looked at me for a long time and said I am so pretty. My dad said I am the prettiest out of his children but just need to dress up more to look more classy. That one time when my sister looked at a pic of my pretty cousin who is a flight attendant, my sister asked me if I think I can do it since I’m pretty. I remember hanging out with my mom, and she told me privately in the car that she really thinks I am pretty, it’s not only my dad and sister’s opinion, it is truly her opinion but I need to dress up more.

But even though my family thinks I’m pretty I always have some self esteem about working hard and getting better at what I do. My asian family always compare me to other asians and it made me feel upset. I remember my uncle told my family that my cousin (his daughter) told him that I am not dumb and am really intelligent and street smart and lead her during the vacation in Canada. My grandma said she doesn’t sees me as dumb, I helped many grandmas at the airport translating documents from viet to english. My sister did say to not worry about me I am really good at making friends and interacting with other people. My dad did say I am the best at making friends but I am kinda shy toward some people I’m scared. I have this shy personality, I can be outgoing and talk to people I like but then I tend to shy away toward some people.

Yeah one of my high school friends is the prettiest blonde hair girl in high school but I don’t talk a lot. But she always support me. I don’t feel inferior cause I’ve never compared myself to other whites. She thinks i’m cool so it’s fair. I don’t need to feel inferior nor compare.

Yeah those times I chat with many asians from California and wished I was in California due to the high population of asians.

So I fall into two categories, I hang out with white preppy friends but I also hang out with awesome asians as an asian american girl.

So why i’m upset due to always being compared to other asians. Yeah I shouldn’t cause everyone is unique.

Rant over. Hope this make me feel better after I finish this rant.

This is my personal ran but I do wonder why I feel upset and compare myself to other asian girls when there’s no need.

I’m not sure how you asians feel about our asian american identity.

❤ Jac!

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